I say things I don't really mean.
What did I do to contribute positively to the days of those around me? NOTHING! I barged in with my own need for attention (aka reaction from others) and tainted their perfectly good morning. Now, I’m sure my co-workers didn’t think twice about the interaction, because we are loud-mouths around the office, but still. I do it a lot. It’s amazing what you notice when you listen intently to yourself throughout the day. What I heard from myself that day is not a character trait I’d like to live with. I immediately asked myself how do I break the cycle and stuff my day with positivity?
Having so many of these “Aha!” moments lately brings me back to something my mom taught me a long time ago - words have power: you speak things into existence. What you SAY is what you THINK. As soon as a phrase escapes your lips, you have just spoken it into existence. You can’t get spoken words back! We’ve got to stop SAYING everything that crosses our minds. If it’s a negative feeling, don’t say it. Keep your mouth shut, no one wants to hear it. Unless you’re going through something seriously serious and you need some serious advice from a friend, shush!
What flows from your mouth is what your mind dwells on. When you speak negative you think negative. When you speak positive you think positive. So the quickest way to put some pep in your step is to speak positivity, love, happiness, encouragement.
Doesn’t it DRAIN you to speak with someone who is always complaining? You come away from the encounter feeling LESS. Like you lost a part of yourself - the happy part. I don’t want to be around people who drain me, and I sure as heck don’t want to be the one who drains others.
There’s this really cool thing called a “filter” that happens somewhere between the time we think something and when we say it. (Some of you think it’s cute to talk about how you “don’t have a filter,” but you do, and you should use it because not doing so means you’re immature. You can be blunt and direct without offending and depressing others.) A filter is a good thing, allowing you to PAUSE before you speak something you can’t get back. In the very same instance you can CHOOSE to rearrange your words, and say something uplifting (or not say anything at all). This, in turn, rearranges your thoughts, which can change your whole demeanor.
I struggle with praising myself, my friends, my husband - I feel like sometimes my day is “so busy” that I can only think about what task I’m tackling and what task I’ll tackle next. I think the more “present” we are in the moment, positivity will cultivate itself naturally. When you notice that your co-worker’s hair is different today or the cashier at Harris Teeter may be having a bad day, our reaction should be the same - a positive, uplifting word of praise. The moment the words leave your lips, you’ll feel lighter and brighter, and it breaks the ice to help you feel comfortable to do it more. The more you speak UP the more you’ll be UP.